Friday, October 26, 2012

The Breaking Point

I’m sure you’re wondering what was the breaking point. I’d been beaten, abused and tortured for almost thirteen years when I was diagnosed with Crohns Disease. It was the spring of 2000; I was 31 at the time. It hit me hard. So hard it landed me in the hospital for 22 days. During this time my ex called me and harassed me for a minimum of five hours a day. Family who came to visit me couldn’t believe how much he harassed me. I know most would ask why I stayed on the phone and took the abuse. He was threatening me I’d never see my kids again. I couldn’t come home to my house, all because I was sick and in the hospital.

I had three children the youngest being two and a half. He brought my children to see me exactly three times while I was in the hospital. The older ones were ten and twelve and couldn’t understand what was going on. Where was mom and why couldn’t they visit me.

It was the 19th day of my stay when my doctor walked in and I remember him looking down on me. My body was frail from not eating much in the last few weeks. I’d had five blood transfusions at this point and they were finally giving me real food.

He’s words still echo in my head to this day…”Your marriage is killing you. If you don’t get out, you’re going to die.”

Why did it take those words for me to finally get it? I can’t say. What I can tell you is this was the turning point for me.

When I went home a few days later, I was lying on the couch and my daughter crawled onto the couch with me. She’d missed me terribly. She only wanted to cuddle with her mommy. The ex screamed at her to get off the couch before she caught what I had. It’s not contagious. He was a true f’ing jerk.

Monday I’ll talk about how I put my plan in motion to leave.  

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