I’m sure you’re wondering what was the breaking point. I’d
been beaten, abused and tortured for almost thirteen years when I was diagnosed
with Crohns Disease. It was the spring of 2000; I was 31 at the time. It hit
me hard. So hard it landed me in the hospital for 22 days. During this time my
ex called me and harassed me for a minimum of five hours a day. Family who came
to visit me couldn’t believe how much he harassed me. I know most would ask why
I stayed on the phone and took the abuse. He was threatening me I’d never see
my kids again. I couldn’t come home to my house, all because I was sick and in
the hospital.
I had three children the youngest being two and a half. He brought
my children to see me exactly three times while I was in the hospital. The older
ones were ten and twelve and couldn’t understand what was going on. Where was
mom and why couldn’t they visit me.
It was the 19th day of my stay when my doctor
walked in and I remember him looking down on me. My body was frail from not
eating much in the last few weeks. I’d had five blood transfusions at this point
and they were finally giving me real food.
He’s words still echo in my head to this day…”Your marriage
is killing you. If you don’t get out, you’re going to die.”
Why did it take those words for me to finally get it? I can’t
say. What I can tell you is this was the turning point for me.
When I went home a few days later, I was lying on the couch
and my daughter crawled onto the couch with me. She’d missed me terribly. She only
wanted to cuddle with her mommy. The ex screamed at her to get off the couch
before she caught what I had. It’s not contagious. He was a true f’ing jerk.
Monday I’ll talk about how I put my plan in motion to leave.
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