Wednesday, June 18, 2014

Bipolar, Anxiety and Depression Oh MY....

Dealing with a teenager who suffers from anxiety is not easy. Add depression to the mix and you have a recipe for disaster.

For the last year my daughter has gone from a straight A student to just getting by. The only reason she’s just getting by - because she’s missed over 60 school days. Her grades are there – can you imagine?

Thanks to the school she’s being tutored and will pass the 11th grade.

For months, no that’s a lie – for the last year I haven’t understood how to deal with her. I’ve taken everything she’s done personally even though my husband has done everything in his power to convince me that it’s not personal.

How else would I feel? She’s defied every rule I have. She’s run away. She’s self-medicated. She’s told me she hates me and can’t wait until she turns 18 so she can move out and never have to speak to me again.

So why am I putting all this information out there? I want other parents to know they’re not alone. Sure I was an open book about being abused, but this was different. This is my teenager. But she’s suffering and turning to outside help.

At times I was in denial. I didn’t want to believe she was self-medicating. I’ll be honest I’m not sure of all the drugs she used, but I’ve heard – Molly and Klonopins to name a few. I know for certain she’s smoked pot. That seemed to be her drug of choice. She claimed it claimed her anxiety. Turns out it does just the opposite.

She’s been out of control with her drug addiction she’s sold all sorts of clothing her father bought her – North Face jackets, Michael Kors bags, Coach Bags, Victoria Secret stuff. She might have even sold my one and only Coach Pocketbook. It was a gift from 2 of my other children. Talk about hitting me where it hurts. Again, can’t take it personally because she was on drugs.

She’s stolen change from our change bucket and sold a laptop of mine. I’ve caught her with my iTouch and shuffle. Luckily they weren’t sold.

It was hard to believe this was my child. I thought for sure if any of my children would’ve been this bad it was my two older ones. Nope this one takes the cake and then some. I’m not sure when I finally woke up and realized I couldn’t live in denial any longer, but the positive is I DID. I took action. I began getting the school involved. I had the truant officer in my house trying to get her out of bed. The principal even came with the officer.

When she stepped out of control I called the police. I swear I know every officer in our city personally. Some were very helpful others kept saying “well she is 17…soon she’ll be 18 and can do what she wants.”

No shit Sherlock. Does that mean don’t try to save her? Should I just give up on her and wait until you show up on my doorstep to tell me she overdosed? I think not. This is my baby, my flesh and blood. I refuse to give up on a child who showed me how to love again. I will fight until I break her or she breaks me.

Wednesday, June 4, 2014

June Already

Where did May go? I've been so tied up in work and writing that I lost all of May.

There's also dealing with a child who has such high anxiety and panic attacks. I'll be writing more on that later this week or early next.

I'm also trying to get my PMP certification and thinking about going back to college for Forensic Science.

I have a lot on my plate. :)

What is everyone else up to?