Tuesday, September 15, 2015

Special Guest Erin Taylor


Amazon Link
Do you struggle with your kids over homework, chores, meal times, and bedtime? Are you frustrated that your child doesn't listen to you, so that you resort to threats and punishments? Pushed to the brink, do you find yourself yelling, but not wanting to—yet not knowing another way?

Wasn't this whole parenting thing supposed to be more fun than it is?

When you uncover why children act out the way they do, you can address the reasons for the behavior…and the need to threaten or punish vanishes.

In Connection and Kindness: The Key to Changing the World Through Parenting, discover how to let your child’s core of kindness shine through—as well as your own!

ERIN TAYLOR, MA has worked for almost two decades with families of all kinds, from foster and adoptive families to biological, divorced, blended and single-parent families. She earned her Bachelor's Degree in Psychology from Drexel University and her Master's Degree from Loyola University Maryland.

Erin met her future husband, Jay, when they were 18 and they are now both pursuing careers that they love while joyfully raising their three heart-healthy children. Their first daughter, Sydney who was conceived via In-Vitro Fertilization, died of a heart defect when she was only 24 days old. Erin and Jay founded and for 12 years ran a non-profit organization, the Sydney Mae Taylor Foundation, to help other young people living with heart defects, while maintaining her career as a therapist.
Getting to that balanced, peaceful place as a parent can be a very difficult thing to do. Erin found herself questioning her judgment and decisions, turning to books to help her find her way on the parenting journey. The most profoundly transformational book she discovered was The Conscious Parent by Dr. Shefali Tsabary which inspired Erin to dive deeply into Dr. Shefali's teachings.

As a conscious parent teacher, student and parent herself, Erin understands that parents have all the wisdom inside of them that they need to be the exact parents their children need them to be, but in order to access that wisdom, they need to "grow themselves up."

Erin is thrilled to help parents find their way on their parenting journey, helping them to become the parents they always wished to become and have the relationships with their children they only thought was possible in their dreams.

Erin is now a PCI Certified Parent Coach© helping parents to develop deeper, more fulfilling relationships with their children. Erin believes that parenting is one of the most challenging and sacred tasks we can ever take on in life, while also being the most rewarding and satisfying. She writes a blog and is a regular contributor to South Jersey MOM Magazine and Natural Awakenings South Jersey Edition.

Erin presents workshops and webinars to individuals, groups, and schools
* Introduction to Conscious Parenting
* Raising a Motivated Child
* Transcending Your Triggers
* or customize to your needs

Erin is available for Keynote Speeches, Presentations for large and small audiences.
* Seeing Challenges as Opportunities to Grow
* Gratitude
* or customize to your needs


Erin's blog: www.villageparentcoaching.com/blog/
facebook.com/it takes a village parent coaching
twitter @parentcoacherin

Monday, March 30, 2015

The IVF Journey Concludes

I'm sorry it took so long to finish this story. When I relive the death of our son it takes its toll. Here it is now.

It took us a good six months to get back on our feet. I suffered from postpartum depression. I’d hide away in my room for days at a time. My youngest at the time, twelve, couldn’t understand why her mom wasn’t talking to anyone. I couldn’t understand why our son died. Why us. Well, now I know why.

The statistics aren’t great for a full term pregnancy, especially someone over 40. I can’t tell you if I ignored the statistics when we started or if they weren’t emphasized enough. Either way, Connor was gone and I was trying how to figure out my life.

Eventually we resumed as normal a life as we could. Surprisingly our marriage survived. I wasn’t sure for a time. How could it? We were both suffering separately.

In the fall of that year we took a few mini vacations, long weekends. Anything to get away from the house. The only positive was we hadn’t decorated his room. For some reason I wanted to wait until March, even though he was due in April. Why? I’ve asked myself the question a million times. Maybe in the back of my mind I knew.

The vacations were nice. One day at lunch looking over the bay I said something to my husband that just about floored him. “We have 2 frozen eggs left, why don’t we see what happens.”

He agreed. He didn’t want to wonder what if the rest of his life.

This was our fourth round of IVF. Nothing. It didn’t work. It was probably another six months before I asked if he wanted to try one last time. I was 42. I wasn’t na├»ve. My time was running out. It was now or never.

For anyone who hasn’t experienced IVF it isn’t easy. We did it and it was successful. At first I thought I was carrying twins. We went for the gusto and had 6 eggs transferred. My levels were high and they though it was multiples. It wasn’t. The good news was it a strong pregnancy.

I was hooked up with the best high risk pregnancy doctors and neo-natal team. Everyone was in our corner knowing what we went through.

The weekend of the fourth of July I went into premature labor. I stayed in the hospital for 3 days and they were able to stop the labor. I was sent home with only 8 weeks to go. They felt certain I’d be okay to work and live normal for the rest of the pregnancy.

On July 28th I went for a brief swim in my pool to cool off. I only glided around the pool – nothing strenuous. It was seven p.m. and I was sitting on the couch and the urge to go to the bathroom hit. I went came back, sat down and felt like I wet myself. It happened and again.

I looked to the hubby and said I believe my water just broke. No I had no clue what it felt like because it never happened before, even though I had 3 kids.

Went to the hospital and sure enough I was 2 centimeters dilated. They brought me up to the OR for a C-Section and at 10:29 our daughter was born. She was 5 weeks early and only weighed 4lbs 10ozs. Tiny compared to my full term babies. She was healthy and that’s all that mattered.

Today she’s a healthy happy child and we are so blessed to have the gift of life. It took another 2 ½ years for me to get medicated and stop the mood swings from all the IVF drugs and postpartum. Things were different from when I was younger.

Now I’m normal again! As normal as I can be. J


Monday, February 16, 2015

My IVF Journey - Connor is born

Things weren’t all chocolates and roses after Connor was born. They had to ventilate him. The doctor who performed the ventilation was fast and accurate. Everyone gave him kudos. He saved Connor at that time.

One hurdle was tackled.

He was so tiny. When I say he could fit in the palm of my hand I’m not kidding. He was hooked up to various machines. He had ports for having blood drawn and infused. The next issue to rise was he couldn’t pee. His sodium was extremely high and blocking him from voiding.

I’ll be honest – the first night I was frightened to see him. I was scared to death I’d go down and he’d die or they’d tell me bad news. So I stayed away. I made my husband go down and give me updates.

Early the next morning I couldn’t sleep wondering how he was and if he was okay. I found my courage and a need to see him. While Sean slept I snuck down to the NICU. I slipped in and the nurse smiled. Guilt raced through me. How could I not come see my son earlier? How could I leave him alone? He needed me and my love. I had to talk to him and let him know everything would be okay.

The first four days were a roller coaster of events. Things looked grim and then they looked okay. On the fifth night we were at the hospital holding him, reading and singing to him. When we put him back in the incubator he peed. When I say peed it shot up to the roof of his incubator and went all over. His nurse cheered, while Sean and I cried. It was a huge milestone.

Such a huge milestone his doctor came in and insisted I start pumping for he would need to have breast milk soon. She advised us we had a long road ahead of us, but that things were looking good. She told us to go home, get some sleep and come back in the morning with breast milk.

I did everything she suggested. It was the first night I slept since giving birth to Connor.

The next morning we walked in with a skip in our step. I couldn’t wait to hear about his output and if he gained any weight. I was greeted at the door by his day nurse. The look on her face wasn’t encouraging.

She told us Connor had taken a turn for the worse overnight. They were transfusing him to keep him alive. They suggested we call in any family we wanted to say good bye to him. So we did. We called our immediate families.

Everyone came in and held him for as long as they wanted. There wasn’t a time limited because they were keeping him pumped with fresh blood. By the end of the day Sean and I were exhausted – physically and mentally.

We sent everyone home.

We sat in Connor’s room, had him unhooked and held him, whispering our love for him until he took his last breath. He was gone on 1/9/2010 at 10:28 – a minute shy of his birth six days before.

I’ve watched one other person take their last breath – my grandmother. While it was painful, there’s nothing that compares to letting your child go. It’s been five years and my heart still aches for my little boy.

He’s always in my heart and thoughts.

I’ll continue another day. It’s too painful to continue today.

Saturday, February 14, 2015

Happy Valentine's Day

My IVF Journey will continue next week. My grown son has some health issues I'm tending to.

Tuesday, February 10, 2015

My IVF Journey

Eight years ago I set out on a journey to have another baby. You see when I was married to my first husband (an abusive man) I had my tubes tied. I was twenty-eight at the time and had three children. I felt I was done having kids. Besides, I didn’t want to bring any more children into the abusive relationship. My two had already seen enough. The third child was a definite surprise, but a blessing in the end. She was one of the biggest reasons I left my ex.

Anyway, I married a wonderful man and he didn’t have any children of his own. I wanted to give him the one thing he felt he was missing – a child. We looked into many options. We considered reversing my tubal ligation, but ended up doing IVF.

Now for anyone who has never done IVF it’s not an easy process. There are a lot of medications – mainly shots. I’m not one for watching when they give me or my children a shot, so imagine when I had to do my own. Surprisingly I did good.

The doctor and I decided we would only do a 2 egg transfer because I’d never had issues getting pregnant so we didn’t want to increase the changes of multiples. The first round – I got pregnant and then miscarried at 9 weeks. The second time we did a frozen egg transfer and nothing.

On the third try – another fresh cycle I got pregnant. You couldn’t imagine my job when I had the ultrasound at 16 weeks and they told me we were having a boy. I had two girls and a boy and longed for another son. It was the eve of thanksgiving when we had the ultrasound. We were headed for NY to visit my family for the holiday. Halfway into our trip the doctor called and informed me that they saw something a little alarming on the ultrasound with the bowel structure. They did say it could be nothing but wanted to repeat the test after the holiday.

The next test showed the same thing. They said they’d ultrasound my once a month until the baby arrived to keep an eye on things.

On December 30th I went for my next ultrasound and life went into a downward spiral. After the test they told me the baby was in distress and would need to be delivered. They sent me to Women and Infants Hospital. More tests were done and at 10:29pm I gave birth to a 14oz baby boy.

The doctors warned me he wouldn’t cry and chances were high he wouldn’t survive delivery. In my heart of hearts I knew he would. I’m not sure why, but my motherly instincts told me he would – and he did.

That was the only the beginning.
More to come tomorrow...

Monday, February 9, 2015

Hard to Be a Flip Flop Girl

When you're buried under 3 feet of snow and another on the way. Time to seriously consider the move to Florida. In the meantime, I'd love to be here soon.

Monday, February 2, 2015

Congrats to the New England Patriots!

What a game!!!
This picture is property of the AP and a special thanks for a stunning victory pic.