Thursday, November 15, 2012

When the Dead Visit

I dream often. I remember most of my dreams. Most of the time they’re insane dreams. When I talk to my husband about them he always laughs and tells me I need to dream normal dreams. I found during pregnancy my dreams get more outlandish and most of the time are downright horrifying.

There are two dreams that made me believe there was a message for me.

Three years ago when we lost our son I went into a deep dark depression. Yes, I know it’s normal for a parent who lost a child to grieve. For the six days after his birth I was by his side praying for his survival only to have him slip away. It was close to the six month mark after his death when I had the dream. In the dream there was a little boy. I couldn’t make out his face. He was dressed all in white. He was also holding the hand of a man, who was also dressed in white. There was a brilliant white light surrounding them both. Only a few words were spoken by the little boy. “Be happy, mommy. Be happy.”

Now I didn’t wake up the next day instantly happy, but it did give me a new perspective and I tried to have a new outlook on each new day. Not a day goes by that I don’t think about our son, but living gets a little easier with each passing day.

The second dream happened on my birthday last week.  I met a gorgeous man two years ago. He was funny, sexy and sweet. We didn’t talk much, a few moments maybe. There was an aura about him though. He was larger than life and he knew how to work a room full of women. Sadly he was killed a few months ago. It was a tragic murder and it affected me more than I realized.

The night of my birthday I dreamed we spent the day together. During the time together we celebrated a few holidays, like Halloween and Christmas. And even though we only spent a day together it felt like much more. At the end of the day he drove me home, walked me to the door and kissed my cheek. I thanked him for the time together and he said, “I wanted to remind you of love.”

I woke up and thought about that dream all day long. You see my day job has become so stressful that I’ve considered leaving and diving deep into a full time freelance career. My husband and I have been discussing whether or not it’s affordable for us. The main message though is the stress was taking its toll on my marriage and family. What I took away from the dream was I needed to slow down and smell the roses. I needed to appreciate my loved ones more. I’ve heeded that message. I’m trying to accept what I can’t control and I’m spending more time with the family.

Like I said, I don’t normally put too much stock in my dreams, but these two times I did.

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