Thursday, November 1, 2012

After I Left

The next six weeks I spent sleeping on my aunt’s couch or my mothers. The kids did spend some time with their father. He begged me endlessly to come back and work things out. I stuck to my guns and told him no. he resorted to threats and sometimes I feared for my life. I told him he had to leave the apartment and at first he refused.

When he realized I wasn’t going to change my mind he moved out. He cleaned out our joint account with about 5k in it. A few months prior to me leaving he charged furniture on my credit, among other things. He took the furniture with him. Believe me when I say…I didn’t care. I accepted the debt because it was better than a beating. So he had lots of furniture and money. I had freedom.

Things settled down after the six weeks and we moved back into the apartment. My father came in and changed all the locks, adding additional protection. One could never be sure. There were times when I believe he was in my house when I wasn’t there.

He continued to stalk me and I stuck to my guns. I refused to allow his treats to deter me from finding a new life. My health got better with each peaceful day. Did I look over my shoulder? Yes. My family thought he’d never let me leave alive. I think they feared for my life more than me.

Bottom line is there is hope and freedom. It’s never easy. It takes a ton of determination and you have to want out. Some will come after their victim. Whatever you decide please find protection for you and your family.

The best part of this is over the next couple of years I found my self-esteem and started standing up to my ex. He now worries about what I’ll do to him. No I’m not talking about harming him physically. I’m talking about bringing him to court, cutting off his visitation rights and making him pay through the nose. Do I get child support? No. again, this was my decision at the time because I was never in it for the money. I only wanted my freedom.

I pray every day my children don’t find themselves in an unhealthy relationship. The good thing is I know the signs and I won’t stand for it. They’d fight me I’m sure but I refuse to allow them to become a walking target because of any man or woman.

Again if you or anyone you know is in an abusive relationship and want to talk, I’m always here. Feel free to email me.  

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